Interesting

This is a livejournal post that i wrote durring the summer. Jerry, tell me what you think


My fellow intern Jen shared a cube with me. When she left we exchanged pleasantries. The last thing she said to me was “…you are a very interesting person”. I’m sure some people might take that as a veiled insult but I realize that I am very happy being “very interesting”. This may be synonymous with strange – I like that too. I don’t want a life that is considered valuable in the normal sense. The more I step away from the “normal” system to analyze it, the more it disgusts me. The more I listen to married people talk about married people stuff such as what remodel they are planning for their house, what the weather is like, the price of gas, preferred routes to work, sports ect… the more I want to make sure I avoid being interested in those things. I want to talk about adventures, revolution, and potential utopias.

I realize that there are 2 types of people in the world: those that take pleasure in, and are interested by the bizarre, the strange, the weird, the crazy, the unconventional, and the experimental and those that don’t. I’m sure you can guess which group to which I belong. Being “interesting” according to Jen surely come from the fact that, being a member of the bizarrophiles, I have realized the horrors of discussing such banal things as LCD vs. Plasma TVs and instead steer conversations toward, for example, the politics, ethics and strategies of shoplifting from big corporations.

A very remarkable trend is that there are many, many people out there that are “in-the-closet” about being interested in such out-there type things. It is almost as if they WISH they too could be interested in anarchy like me but never knew that was an option. They do like their TV shows but are actually turned on when I mention vandalism-as-art and dumpster diving. A hidden side that gets buried deeper each time they do what is required to be “normal” just because that’s what they have been told they should strive for.The parting advice from another fellow intern who was a football-playing Rutgers frat boy: “Don’t change to be like the rest of us, if you every see yourself becoming just like everyone else, normal – don’t. You’re great the way you are.” Quite a nice sentiment from a tough-as-nails linebacker. Bo, you’re cool. (PS-Liz, you should me him now that you are attending Rutgers)

I am not interested in a normal, conventional, easy, pleasant or comfortable life. I think now that this was a large part of the reason I decided to end things with my ex-girlfriend Katie. It seemed that such an ideal was what she would like, not that she verbalized it. Such aspirations are not something many people consciously choose, they are given to us by our society. I hadn’t come to the fuller understanding I currently (claim to) have but there was a large part of my subconscious in disharmony because our visions of future life were in disharmony.

I certainly do not begrudge her this difference in preference. I don’t think my way is necessarily better than another’s worldview. Yet, conflicting worldviews seem to be as good a predictor as any for incompatibility. I would like it if there were more people like me because it is always great to be around a person with similar interests. However, if someone looks intently at my campaign to flip off every Hummer driver I encounter and decides it’s not for them or they don’t like it, fine by me. There isn’t really a difference with that and me looking at a BMW and thinking it’s not worth it. I do feel a tinge of admittedly self-promoting sorrow for those that obviously have not internally considered what they should want and should be and thus are trapped with a System that I am fundamentally at odds with. The unexamined life is not worth living. Then again, I know that I have a very rich mental life that may be completely invisible to onlookers so perhaps I should not judge others to be without deep introspection just because they have the custom license plate “LAYN 22S” to go with their new rims . [Buy Land Nigga, Fuck Spinnin’ Rims! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUkpR2Q6Oy8)] Everyone has their own values and I CAN certainly see the plus side to being into car culture (or any culture for that matter).

Lastly, on Katie; its not that I was playing the typical male stereotype of being afraid to settle down. One changes his patterns of activity with age and change in life situation (pick up soccer in the park to coaching son’s U-6 team) but one’s fundamental view of the way to be a part of the world shouldn’t and doesn’t change. I had to be true to myself

Perhaps this is all one big self-stroke-fest and I’m not actually different, just confused. That is certainly what corporate America would have me believe. Perhaps because I am hypocritical about some facets of what I speak about (I am working a 9 to 5 right now that any parent would be proud of and do enjoy a nice restaurant) my whole stance a lie. I don’t think so. I honestly believe there is a difference in people’s intent: endure the strange to get to the normal or put up with the normal to find the strange. My heart really is with the strange.

May you have an interesting life-
Traditional Chinese Curse (http://xkcd.com/308/)

I don’t know where to put this so it’s going here: I don’t only not like the way some things are because of the System. I hate the System.

PS- Im going to go steal a shit load of dry ice from my company's shipping department and do fun things with it this weekend. Peace out guys.